2 blogs

Some may wonder why I have 2 blogs. Teachonpurpose, my professional blog, has been great for connecting with other teachers and sharing professional stuff....but the other side of my identity, my Altar Ego (misspelled intentionally) goes here. This one is for thenon-professional side, for the heart stuff. With that said, I think it's safe to say here...that right now my heart's a mess. This week one of my students killed himself. What do you even do with that? I don't think it's an over-dramatization to say that, for me these aren't just students-they are the little ones that God has entrusted to me-and they all have broken hearts at the same time. It's a little overwhelming even when I don't think about the fact that one of them was hurting enough to take his own life. So, I suppose, for those who want to ask, "how are you doing?"....I'll tell you I'm ok, but it's only a half-truth. The other half is that I'm still waiting on the dam to break, and that I would give anything if I could put into words just how much I love and hurt for my kids.
It will be ok. I know.
The heart's just not there yet, and saying so requires me to, hence the name, put my ego on the altar.