Dad's Birthday~

So, my dad's 55th birthday is in 2 weeks(ish) and I've been working on a little present for him. I know this sounds weird, I feel a little urgency with this particular gift. 2 years ago he had a massive heart attack and a smaller one six months later. By the time he was my age, his dad was gone. Obviously, I can't predict the future, but I also can't hide from the possibilities....so weird or not...I didn't want to wait any longer to write a book honoring him. It's a small book, the square gift kind that you get at cardshops, probably around 50 pages. I don't have any intention of publishing (although I may get extra copies to pass along to new dads). Nonetheless, I know it's going to rock his world.


Anyway, the book is in it's final stages, and with some too-expensive shipping should be here next week.
So, I thought I'd share with you an excerpt. Read if you like:)
_____________________________________________________________
From:Chapter 1 of What Dad Did Right: a guide to what works for fathers of girls

Dad was my biggest fan:
.......I remember calling home from college. The clash of acting grownup and not actually BEING grownup had caught up with me. The checking account was overdrawn, and much to my dismay I had to swallow some pride and call home. I was hanging my head. I don't know exactly what I expected out of that phone call, but I knew it wasn't good. Financial responsibility is a big deal in my family-and I had blown it to the tune of a couple hundred dollars.

I stared at the phone for a while, dialed slowly, spilled the whole story before I could lose my nerve and then....silence. When dad began to speak, he pointed out where I had gone off course, but it wasn't exactly what I had expected. After a few sentences of "do better next time" he began to tell me how he brags to all his friends about me. What?! I was shocked and wondering what that had to do with this conversation. He reminded me of all the times I had been responsible and how this was certainly just a fluke and not a reflection of my character.
What a lecture! I left feeling better than before I'd called!

Don't misunderstand, dad never shielded me from necessary consequences and he always had high expectations, but he also never let me forget that those expectations flowed out of a belief that I was something special. In this particular moment, I think he figured out that making that phone call and disappointing him was more punishment than anything he could say. I'll never forget the end of that conversation:


"Sweetheart, everyone messes up. Just don't let it become a habit. I'm putting the money in your account with a little extra. Go buy some groceries. I'm so proud of you. Oh, and don't worry. No one will ever know about this but me and you..."

At that point dad believed some things about me that I didn't necessarily believe about myself yet. He believed I was more than my mistakes and better than the sum of my actions. At a time in life when it is accepted and expected that parents complained to friends about their lazy, money-sucking college kid, he never joined in.

Like a lover of the Mets or a passionate follower of nascar,
he was my biggest fan-win or lose- and I knew it.

I wish every new dad could have peeped through the window and seen this. There's no explaining just how important it is for a little kids, especially a little girl, to believe deep down that her daddy thinks she's off-the-charts-incredible. As a high school teacher, I see this sort of thing played out all the time. One girl has high standards, achieves in school and thrives socially. She's a picture of promise and potential. Another girl of similar appearance and intelligence, living in the same neighborhood and running with roughly the same crowd will give herself away to every boy that will have her, make decisions based on acceptance, and never really pursue greatness relationally, academically or otherwise. It happens every day, and with a 5 minute conversation I find that the only consistent difference between kids who make good decisions and kids who don't is a belief about who they are and who they're destined to be.

Dads, that belief is a gift from you.